“In Your Presence Is Fullness Of Joy.”
It’s been a month since my last post. time flies when you’re having fun. or not. Life hasn’t been as kind as it could be but well, this is life.
I’ve been really busy with school and a Bible Diploma course I’ve enrolled in and began in August Faith Bible Institute aka FBI. We’re about to complete my first sem in FBI and the 3 exams/tests have started, 1 of which we have already taken last week.
Re school, i’m headed to completing my J1 equivalent this year end and J2/ A levels hopefully by the end of next year. Seems like I have everything about my studies under control when in actual fact I don’t. I was faced with what seemed to me a major failure and oh well pretty much feel like a failure now.
November 5th was my dad’s birthday and 11th was my parent’s second decade of marriage. wished I had the means to make those 2 days an extra special one.
Nov 12th was school’s grad night, it was awhsum the quartet got together again, we sang His Robes For Mine and the day before the grad night, we learned our parts for another song, As The Deer. SuRPriSe me nothing, we did great. After grad night was over, we gathered together and suddenly there was a mass weeping. I mean it was justifiable, one of the girls was leaving the next day and we probably wouldn’t see her again soon. Then followed all the I’m gonna miss you Me too stay in touch okay forever friends don’t forget us be strong we love you and group hugs, wrong, much group hugs.
now. while most of the students school term is ending, I still have a lot of work to do. Ask me to describe how I am feeling this days in one word: Tired.
Okay. there’s so many things to be done, so many things going wrong, so many things that are so discouraging.
there’s no such thing as a separation between my family life and church life. No breaks, no breathers, no nothing. your reward is people leaving the church or people saying nasty stuff and I’m just here like okay, this is just great, won’t you guys just give me a break?!
Well it isn’t exactly true that the only reward is nasty things, I mean, there are people that encourage me in ways they don’t even know and I really appreciate those people. It’s just that sometimes the black spot on a white cloth is so easier to pick on then the rest of the clean cloth.
So when the moments come, when I am encouraged by so and so who has made known his or her desire to love and follow God, I take it to readjust my focus on the aim of my spiritual walk and the people around me with the same goal.
Constantly having to remind myself not to look at men, and look only to God.
to be honest, this feeling, it isn’t new. I’ve been through this before, and I know I’ll make it out cos there’s God.