11:27a.m.; goodnight.

been really busy and tired ever since term 3 of school started, got a lot of stuff done which is really really good, completed my J1 equiv cert, was studying through the one week school break, das why i haven’t been able to keep up with the regular posting i had planned to do, really am sorry bout that. Term 4 is starting tmr cant imagine what it’d be like lul

haven’t written in a long time, i really want to write something, but i cant think of an interesting topic man

might be editing and posting something i wrote for the regional student competition last year. won me 4th place i think, writing about a controversial issue

today’s a PH. yay.

have a gud day folks. imma thinking of heading back to bed.

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Thursday Thoughts: I am Sorry.

{ I don’t know what to do with apologies }

It’s kinda sad when people hurt you and apologize and now the onus is on you to painfully and more carefully hide how it all still hurts. No, it shouldn’t be this way.

–// Take a plate. Drop it.
Watch the shattered pieces decorate the floor.
Collect the broken shards.

Now, apologize to it.

There. It is fixed. //

We’ve all been taught by our parents to apologize when we are in the wrong and to graciously accept apologies from those that wrong us.
While I still agree with that rule, however, to a certain extent, I no longer believe an “I’m sorry” is applicable to severe offences.

It seems to me that an offer of apology serves to only ease the conscience of the offender…
and does nothing to help the wounded…
Does it not?
–/ I hear so many hearts breaking //

That is why, in some cases, I do not believe an apology is worth anything.

Sure, it is a valid courtesy. But still, sadly, and too often, a courtesy too late.

One day, I will teach my own children the importance of saying sorry, but I will also teach them that some hurts created are too deep that not even a hundred apologies accompanied with “Please forgive me” cards attached to a thousand red roses can ever reverse the damage.
I will tell them how their own mother’s youth-hood was drowned with blood and tears and many fears because she was weak and foolish enough to let people’s words stab her heart a million times over.
I will show them my scars and tell them how I wish for them to be strong people, that will not easily let some outsider’s brusque discouraging actions and words affect their heart.
But if and when it does, I understand, and oh my beautiful child, it is okay.
They can climb into my bed in the middle of any night at any time and I will hold them till their shoulders stop shaking, until their tears dry.
I will remind them to be always careful of what they say, and how much I hope and pray that they never be found guilty of killing someone’s soul or spirit with quick, sharp tongues that shoots careless words.

So if you know you’ve hurt me deeply, show me with your actions that you’re truly sorry.
If you have apologized, I truly admire the humility and courage you had put together to do so and thank you.

But if you haven’t, don’t.

Don’t apologize.
It’d only make me cry cos I’d feel so lost. And I don’t want to feel that way.

Don’t apologize.
Please.

I wouldn’t know what to do with it.

Cameron Highlands 2015: part 2

Hey peeps, 

We’re beginning our journey back to SG in about an hours time. 🕙

Spent yesterday going to the Boh tea plantation🌿, the tea factory, OMF ‘resort’, and lunch from 10.30am – 1.30pm. We reached back at the hotel at almost 2pm. 

  

After that, we went to walk at the market to find some keychains and iced tea packets. 

It started to drizzle ☔️when we were walking back and the wind was super cool❄️ Fortunately we managed to reach our rooms before it started storming⚡️

Slept and lazed around 😴 (something we don’t get to do in SG), for a few precious hours. 

We walked out of the hotel 🏢 and explored another side of the area in search of a good place for dinner 🍜🍲

Found a JinJin restaurant which was served surprisingly better than expected food. We tried their ice blended strawberry drink 🍓there but the one at the Big Red Strawberry Farm was still the champion 🏆

By the time we finished dinner it was pretty dark and walking home to the hotel found me with cold hands and shivering insides. (I didn’t bring my jacket out which was a stupid idea) the wind was even colder than the afternoon ❄️❄️⛄️ 

Got back, showered quickly, and then i crashed earlier than the rest of my fambam.

Woke up at 7⃣+, packed stuff🎒, had devotions 📖 and now I’m at the breakfast area. 

The long journey ahead 🚌 probably will be used to sleep some more😴💤 or overthink 😌 and dream 💭

Have a good day peeps! ⛅️

why, hello there

It’s been 5 days since camp ended but it feels like it’s been months.

I’m still missing the fun times we had, and thank God for whatsapp otherwise I don’t know how we would all survive, being deprived of one another.

“Replay the memories”, one of the new friends I made last week told me, “It won’t be that painful after awhile, and playing back the memories take you back to those happy moments.” Well she iz right. 😌

Today is Wednesday and tomorrow is the start of VBS. I’m already so tired, my woman days just started yesterday evening 😞 had severe stomach cramps this morning while preparing my lesson for VBS. Yes, I’m going to be teaching a class for the first time in my 15 years of life. It’s gonna be a new experience and a tough one too, I think, cus I volunteered to be in the lower primary class (with 3 other ladies) that turned out to be the biggest class with about 40 kids. But I believe God will give me the strength to teach and look out for the little kids under my care.

I’ve only been awake for 5 hours, I’m already wanting to go to sleep the loss of blood isn’t helping

I’m thankful that all my co-workers and friends are praying for each other including me. 🙏 really grateful for all the people God has brought into my life.