first things first

i always feel i should apologize for not writing here but is there a need to if no one even reads it. maybe the one i should apologize to is myself –

on to the post.

November went past in a blur. Busy days, lazy days, happy days, not so happy days. December began. wanted to blog about VBS but curse my lazy fingers, i never got around to doing so. last week was youth camp (theme was First things first: Consider Your Ways, Haggai 1:6-7) and it was fUN. and now it’s almost Christmas, and i thought i should really get to posting something on me blog, mainly for myself, so i’ll never forget the many happy things that has happened.


FIRST THINGS FIRST this photo makes me so happy. #Protosinmyheart  < i came up with this hashtag on my ig photos but i doubt anyone got the double meaning . Protos was my team name and the first meaning is that my team is in my heart. Protos is also the Greek word for First, so it means #(First)inmyheart. yay im so clever right. joanna. who cares HA.


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9/10 of Protos
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3/5 of senior girls
Ally. made so many jabs at each other for all the time we’ve known each other. but i’m glad we’re friends, and maybe something even more. something like family.


’99 girls with legit the best assistant camp master. 

IM SO SURE he wanted to sleep after finale night but cos we were being a nuisance no we weren’t he took us out for pRATA @ 2AM so touching also cos we weren’t allowed to play games at night on the campsite blah i love my youth leaders cos they care for us spiritually AND outwardly, in the things they do for us, even if it means giving up precious sleep to take us out for prata. best people.

heart shape heart shape heart shape

best people ever.

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Protos and Rishon!!!!

so much love for yall. This camp was so smooth and peaceful, no fights no crying no arguments no clashes. I think that was the highlight for me; even though there were two teams, the rivalry wasn’t as intense as previous years. and I LIKE. i really truly enjoyed myself those 5 short days.

decisions made, commitments shared. I’m so grateful for HANNAH at the final sharing before we left camp. i’m so glad we were paired up, the considering of our ways, mutual understanding and encouragement. bomb. I love her sm.

i learned so much this year. from devotions, i really learned alot in the small senior girls group. and even from the morning exercise. even though i almost fainted after the first day’s exercise HAHA
sure the exercises were tough but i know they were for my good and it would make me strong. No pain, no gain.

2 more days to Christmas. 8 days to new year and of course. my birthday yas. 17 cycles of 365 days is coming to an end. time to do some emo reflections.



cursed blessing

I know the title I coined is paradoxical but I love the bitter sweet ring to it.

I have more in me than to stoop down to the same unkind level to hurl mud back to those who hurl mud at me.
I tell myself this all the time.

Respond with Honesty. Clear conscience. Love. Truth.

I’ve come to realize that with awareness of Christ’s presence in and with me, coupled with a clear clean conscience, I do not have to worry about what people may say. Yes, it’s easy to be bothered about all the nasty things going on and I am not totally unaffected by the unkind treatment to me or my family. I am aware that I have feelings of bitterness and resentment to those who have wronged me and my family. I want to insult those who have insulted me or my family, with the same mean language or tone or attitude. Misunderstood, mistreated, no one even tries to understand the pastor or his family. Pastor and family are always judged for everything and are required to understand others all the time *inserts bitter laugh*
Like the idiom that goes, it never rains but it pours, the discouraging comments and criticism and gossips seem like they will never end. It is difficult for me at times, but I am learning that if I treat them the way they treat us, it makes us no different from them. But with Christ in the vessel I can smile at the storm.

“Each new day’s design is chartered by His hand.” If all of my days has been planned by God, I am more than confident that He will carry me through. 

Call me pretentious, no guts, a wimp. It is of zero importance what you think or perceive of me (:
My position in Christ and my value to Him is far more precious and important to me than a thousand repulsive compositions painted about me.





Goodbye, Sir.

My family excluding my eldest brother who was in HTA and a family friend went to queue to pay our last respects to the dear Minister Mentor just this week’s Thursday early morning.
We began to queue 12.10am and fortunately for us we only queued for about an hour, and we reached the parliament at about 1.30am.
As we stepped into the hall where the body of our beloved Minister Mentor Lee Kwan Yew lay in silence, the feeling I felt there was a strange feeling. A solemn respectful silence descended on the hundreds of us as we filed past the casket that was draped with the Singapore flag.

For me, it was overwhelming to finally be able to meet my country’s founding father but I regret that it was only in his death I could stand so close to this great man.
We didn’t have a long time to bow because of the great crowd that was queuing behind, we bowed for a second and moved on to walk out of the building. At that moment as I bowed in respect to the father of my country, I thought if any man deserved my bow that night, it would be my Sir Minister Mentor Lee Kwan Yew.

Today was the state funeral, at 4pm a siren was sounded over the whole of Singapore for a minute and at the same time Singapore held a minute of silence for this great leader of Singapore who changed this city of mudflats into a metropolis, who told us, confidence and boldness resonating in his strong voice, Never fear.

Thank you, Sir, for spending your life to give life to Singapore. Take your rest now; we shall never forget you, you will be forever engraved in our history and etched in our hearts.

The Singaporean Son

Today’s the day that my elder brother, the eldest son, enlisted into the Singapore Police Force to serve his 1 year 10 month National Service. 1 year 10 months instead of 2 years because he passed his fitness test and enlisted with the fit intake
We got up at 5am, had breakfast at Macs woohoo then headed to HTA where the enlistment ceremony or swearing in or whatever it’s called would be held there.
Reached there like an hour earlier HAHA can’t help it uh too scared that we would be lost and reach there late.
We got separated with big bro a few moments after we reached the hall. Registration and stuff you know. The policemen that filled the hall and every where on the Academy were real nice and friendly.
Sat in the hall for a few minutes and a few people started to trickle in at ard 8.15am. Until there was abt 20 people, a policeman stepped out from among about a dozen of officers at the side and announced that he would be taking the first group of people present for a tour of the Academy.
It was a pretty interesting experience, got to see the rooms where my bro would be staying in, held the revolver BTW ITS SUPER COOL, saw their canteen, visited the Academy’s gallery, and one part of the programme had the police instructors actually demonstrating their skills in different scenarios, and another group of policemen doing their drills.
After the performance, the enlistees filed into the hall in neat rows and sat as the deputy commissioner gave a short speech and then they took their oaths. The national anthem was played and then the enlistees filed out. Felt super proud of my brother who was chosen to be a part of the Home Team and have the honor of donning the police blue.

Then it was lunch, the last meal together with the sons of the nation before they began this new phase of their lives. met my brothers Field Instructor for a brief moment.

After lunch I didn’t know that I wouldn’t get another chance to say goodbye I didn’t get to hug him and all I did was wave bye to him as we watched my bro form ranks on the parade square and march off with the other men.
So sad.

Can’t wait for next Friday when he books out and comes home.


2015 has arrived, today already being the second day of the year
I turned 16 yesterday, and I hope that this year, I will be courageous to face the challenges that will come.

I had a special 16th birthday spent with the special people in my life, my youth group, my family, my close friend, a few childhood pals.
I thought that I would have a quiet day spent with my family and close friends.
I woke up at 12+ pm, had lunch at home and went to play basketball in the afternoon with some friends. My childhood pals were supposed to come too. They only arrived when we were supposed to go home as instructed by my dad. Confident that my dad would allow us to play longer since it was my birthday, I called home and to my surprise he insisted that we should all go home.
So i invited my pals over and when the door opened, Surprise! There was my youth group in the house. They called out surprise! and yes it was a pleasant surprise, I didn’t think they would again surprise me cus they planned 2 surprise parties for me last year one for my birthday and another one to celebrate my grade 8 distinction

Yesterday night while sending a few of my friends home they left at about 10+pm, we were nearly hit by a car who suddenly turned into our lane without signaling. Thank God for quick reflexes my dad swung the van away from the car before it could hit us. It was kinda scary like what if the car really did hit us, the first side it would have hit the side was directly where I sat at. If I died yesterday, I thought about all the things I would regret leaving behind, the things I left unsaid, the things I left undone. It was once again a timely but scary reminder that we really only live once and we only have one chance to do things right. There’s a lot of things I have to work on in 2015 but by God’s grace and His help, I’ll grow much more before this year ends. Whether I live to see the next year or die before the year ends, I know God has a special plan for me.

My friend’s dad sang Rejoice in The Lord and the second stanza found its way through my head and will stay in my heart for a long time: I could not see through the shadows ahead, so I looked at the cross of my Saviour instead. I bowed to the will of the Master that day, then peace came, and tears fled away.

I felt very loved, very blessed, and very grateful to God for giving me my parents, my church, my youth group, my friends, and I thank God for life, for health, for all He has done in my life and will do, for the years He is going to give me still, and for what He has given me.