they call this forever: part 2

I will stand by you, and I will choose to love you. For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health;
when i wake up next to you and hate the trailing breeze of your morning breath as much as i hate mine; no matter how many times you leave tissue in pockets of the pants you threw in the laundry and the bits get stuck in my washing machine, even if the food you make is salty enough to preserve me perfect in the grave and beyond; even all the petty tiffs and shouting matches doesn’t change the way I love you because honey, i made my vow to you that day and it still stands.
I will stand by you. And I will choose to love you. It’s till death do us part, when your hands are cold no matter how long i hold it, when you no longer make an effort to push back that curly lock of fringe that always falls in your face.
And even that doesn’t mean i’ll stop loving you. “

people love second-hand sales, garage sales. you find unburied treaures everywhere, the pre-loved tea-pots, grandma blouses, perfect blue heirloom china. the old-fashioned things do get our attention, at least mine. those quaint antiques, it gets my attention, all of it.
and naturally, the old-fashioned love, i pay much attention to it.

like my parents.

papa and mama had a videographer for their wedding thank God and i love watching that old cd. and seeing the old photos that records their big(gest) day.
faded mementos of favorite memories.
they celebrated 22 years of marriage last week.
22 years of staying beside each other, caring for each other, and diligently loving each other.
diligent because it is a choice.
diligent because some days, it takes effort to choose to love.
diligent because this choice to love is an everyday thing.
(and too many people are horribly lazy these days)

i used to wonder if i could stand being together with anyone for the rest of my life.
“Love is a choice”, papa wisely told me, “I made a vow and I will keep it. There is no one else and there will be no one else better for me.”
i learn that it’s not being tied down, it’s not being trapped. it’s a free decision.

people call this old-fashioned.

i love the look in mama’s eyes when she talks about the happy yesteryears. I asked her mama why she married papa. She says she married papa because he was spiritually minded and she knew he could lead her spiritually. She had many suitors, but they were not inclined to spiritual things as was papa. and she chose papa, to love another while in the love of God.

people call this old-fashioned.

22 years of being together, sure, there were days of massive volcanic rumblings and days that hail, fire and brimstone threatened to rain. No doubt it was God Who kept them together.
but there were happy days. when their smiles were as bright as when they first linked arms and the whole world cheered for them, when nothing else mattered except having each other.

this ‘old-fashioned’ forever, a God-fashioned forever.

it’s my kind of forever.
& i want this forever.



Midnight child

“Maybe this is a rebellious thing to say… But it takes a really strong and brave person to carry around a heart that feels so much.” @ambernroth

Midnight child,

When clash of voices

And harsh sounds

Goes on,

You envy how time has fun,

playing with the sky.

You feel the tiniest atom

Of emotions that others don’t

And you wonder why.

Midnight child,

Maybe you were born to live

Wanting to die.

Saturday Series: Sensitively Senseless

I know you’ll never treat yourself right darling, but I want you to//

I’m done with people judging me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell when they do.
nice from far, but far from nice.

I don’t get how people have so much time to judge other people when their own lives are a complete mess hurhur –/fix yourself first, human, before you fix another.

How does a sensitive person cope in a senseless world
Where human communication is sent in electric joules that burns nerves to kill each other,
Where the heartbroken breaks hearts for a living,
Where respect is only found in the unending rows of names of the dead, carved in marble and granite.

–/ it’s safer for your gentle heart to stay broken

A tribute to our Minister Mentor

Singapore’s founding father, Sir Minister Mentor Lee Kwan Yew, passed away on the 23rd of March, Monday.

I woke up to the news on Monday morning, much to my dismay. I was hoping that our dear Minister Mentor would live to see the SG50 celebrations, our Jubilee Year, this years August.

For all my 16 years as a Singaporean, regrettably, I have never attended a single NDP the tickets were too expensive for my family of 6 to go together, and we tried balloting for tickets but unfortunately we never got them and 16 years came and went but I never had a chance to see the benefactor of our nation in real life.

It is truly a deep and regretful loss to the whole of Singapore that our Minister Mentor has passed on.
Our Minister Mentor Lee Kwan Yew was a man who loved his country and dedicated his life to creating a better Singapore and we owe a lot to our Minister Mentor for bringing Singapore to its height of splendor, glory and prosperity today. No matter how many years pass, we will always remember our Minister Mentor, our father to the nation.


A thousand thank yous from my heart, Sir Minister Mentor Lee Kwan Yew.
Thank you for building up the Lion City to what it is today.
We heard your roar, Sir, and it will echo in our hearts for many generations to come.

Joanna Tan

I often wonder to how great an extent can one hurt on the inside. I wonder how the pain of losing a loved one, like the fabric of life that held everything together being torn apart, can crawl its way through the outside and steal its way into the heart and soul of a person […]


It’s been 8 days since I last blogged. My apologies guyz cus school has started.

Nothing really eventful has happened, no one has lost his eye or broke his neck. Just the regular routine of school and such.

Maybe the only significant thing that happened during this past 8 days was the death of the last few remaining Bible-believing Independent Fundamental Baptist preachers in my country, Pastor Selva of Lighthouse Baptist Church, Singapore.

He passed away due to an illness discovered around the beginning of the year.

My family attended his wake, because firstly, my dad’s one of the last few Bible-believing Independent Fundamental Baptist preachers like the pastor, and secondly, we wanted to comfort the family.

All the IBF churches and her pastors were there and it was a huge gathering of Christians that, on the one hand, mourned the passing of this servant of God but also thanked God for this pastor who touched many lives and led many souls to God’s kingdom.

People said he looked sickly and pale but I thought how happy he looked in the casket as he was put to lay there. No fear in his face, all was at peace, all joy.
It looked as if he was very glad to leave this world and meet the One He toiled for this many many years.
This brave, faithful soldier of grace has finally reached home, heard his God say to him, “Well Done.” and is peacefully resting in the presence of the sweet sweet Savior.