Gray thoughts on a cold mid-morning

it’s 2.19am and I’m watching my brothers and my close friend play rummikub while I’m lying on a mattress in the living room. The time crawls really slowly during the morning hours. It feels like the clock has slowed down. I dunno. It’s the second last night of 2014 and I’m grateful to God that I’m spending it with the some of the most important people in my life that I love so much. I don’t know what will happen next year if I will live to see 30th of Dec 2015. I might get cancer (something that I think of very often nowadays especially when I get sudden severe throbbing pains in my body at weird times and areas like my head and my stomach area), I might get hit by a vehicle, and die next year. I apologize for the much gloomy thoughts. But certain events that have happened in my life has led me to believe that we have really only one chance to do things right and the fact that we only live once, it makes me worry that if I were to die right now I would have regrets.

But all of this dying talk aside.

For tonight, it’ll be me, Ally, Leandra, my two brothers, rummikub tiles, comfy blankets, warm jackets, laughter, happy moments, hot chocolate, cold feet. 😌

And that’s the way we create beautiful memories.



2014 is drawing to a close and I personally feel this year passed really quickly.

2014 has been a very tiring year, a year filled with many many dark downs. But when I look back at 2014, I know I can find days of sunshine, filled with much laughter, love and fun.

So many things have happened in 2014, I’ve changed in ways more than one. I feel some strange sort of emotional attachment to this year. I want to forget 2014, I want 2015 to begin. I want to forget the hurts of the year and have a new beginning. But at the same time, I don’t want to leave 2014 behind, filled with it’s sweet memories of so much fun with friends, camps, love, bonding, growing.

In reflection and retrospect, 2014 has been a painfully defining year for me. A year of growth, no doubt, at the same time, a year of many tears, many troubles. Yet still it has been a year of much love, much laughter, much fun with the ones dearest to my heart.

There’s so much I can be thankful for this year, new friends, new experiences, new knowledge. All the beautiful memories that 2014 contains are the reason why I hate to leave this year.

Last Saturday, 27th Dec, at youth group, our youth leader gave us a sheet of paper and on it we wrote some spiritual resolutions and some of us wrote a personal message to our future self. After that we folded our paper, wrote our names on it, and placed it in a rectangular, rather shallow, transparent, plastic box on which our youth leader wrote in block letters: TIME CAPSULE 27th DEC 2014

After the youth session was ended, two of our guys went down to the church garden and dug a hole there, placed the box inside and covered it back with the unearthed soil, burying our resolutions but waking up our resolve to fulfill our promises and resolutions in the upcoming 2015.
Our youth leader said that on the last Saturday of 2015, we would all dig the box up and let the time capsule take us back to the 27th of Dec and refresh our memories with what we resolved to spiritually accomplish and see how many of us have fulfilled our resolutions.


2014 has been a year that I will never forget. It doesn’t really matter that there were many dark days, many tears. What matters is what I have, all the beautiful memories, the love, fun, laughter, friends, and I will carry all these precious things with me, and keep it close to my heart for the rest of my life.


This blog’s been sleeping for awhile cus I’ve been busy with school, and planning for VBS crafts. yes, it’s the VBS again; that time of the year I’m finishing my ‘O’ level equivalent cert actually I’m all done except for maths, I still have 5 more books to complete, an essay and a science project. so I’m almost all done for this years school! And it’s been a good academic year for me, finishing my ‘O’ level equivalent this year which is one year earlier than normal kids in public schools. That puts me back on track cus I’m a January 1st baby, and kids born on the first of January have to go to school one year earlier though I have no idea why o.O so I’m 15 and sec 4. Woohoo, cool beans. I’m not the only one I know who’s gone to school one year earlier, there’s my priddy cousin who’s one year older than me, and we share the same birthday cool beans, man. So we both went to school a year earlier than friends our age.
It’s already Nov I can’t believe it. My dad’s birthday just passed, it was on the 5th of Nov. We had a small family celebration, and a rather sizeable surprise group celebration with some cool folks from church.
Yesterday, which was Saturday, we youths from church had lunch at a one of the youths house. It was a late celebration for him, his birthday was also on the 5th of Nov.

So many things wow. There’s still more.
My older brother I love him so much is retaking his napha test this Wednesday. Unfortunately, he could not pass his pull-ups which required him to do 5 in order to pass. That was 2 weeks ago. He’s praying to get silver for the overall he would have gotten silver the first time, but if he failed one station, the whole test is considered as fail. Getting silver for napha would mean:
1. Holidays from December till early Feb or is it early March
2. Able to go for church camp which is from 10th to 13th Dec.
3. Spending more time with family and friends during the year end.
If he doesn’t get silver this Wednesday, he still has one more try the next Wednesday. But if he can’t make it by next Wednesday, I’ll personally be devastated. My older brother is practically my life.

There’s Youth camp coming up in about 2 weeks from now, then the following week will be VBS, and the following week will be church camp. There’ll be a one week break before the Christmas week begin and the next week will be the LAST WEEK OF 2014. I want to crei, the year is ending so fast.

Today has been a good but tiring Sunday.
Im feeling really tired now and I think you are too from reading this post haha but hope you guys had a good day too~

Cheerios! 😊