integrate or disintegrate 

Ah. Beautiful ashes almost turned into beautiful dust.

I’ve almost forgotten I had a blog. This is ridiculous I love writing why did I even stop

//

How has 2017 been treating you? what am I talking about ew gross I hate this 

How has 2017 been treating me? That’s much better

It’s been fantastic, never been better, wrote a couple of tunes collab with pre-written lyrics during 2 weeks of Feb and recorded them at a makeshift ‘studio’. I can say i’m a legit singer songwriter now. However, I write songs no one listens to 🙂

와우, 미친놈아. 나 정말 미쳤어.

.

Honestly, truthfully, without a trace of lying, quite frankly and to be forward, it’s like I’m walking with mist surrounding my feet. “Where am I headed to, what am I going to do, what is going to happen to me”, it seems the only answer I get is rebounding echoes of my own steps that reproach me and are threatening to overwhelm and confuse me.

( “You write so beautifully. The inside of your mind must be a terrible place.” Love this quote to a million smithereens.)

Side note: It is a terrible place, my mind, that is and I’ll never share it with anyone I love.

//

Trust. Have faith. Be patient. 

It’s probably my fault, having heard those phrases over and over, that they seem mindless and empty at this point of time and they slide off my back, or rather, ears for that matter.

It’s not that it’s lost its meaning, definitely not. I think it’s just spoken too much by people who don’t even mean it sometimes; I declare myself guilty of this grievous charge.

. Mindless. Empty. Spare me your despising thoughts and grant me some place to breathe out reasonable fear.

Fear that I am going down a path I should not, fear that I will never return, fearing if I am sure I am doing the right thing.

I do not want to go with the flow. I want to live in His will.

And if only it was all written down where I can read, I would gladly follow it all to the very end.

“it’s when they’re dying, wilting, that’s when the flowers are most beautiful.”

#joannatanquotes

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