Goodbye 2015.

{time for another year end reflection post wew} Warning: long post ahead


2015 passed so quickly & here I am, at the edge of another brand new year.

For me, this past year (2015) has been a year of (more than usual, compared to other years) growth in many different aspects, and for that I am most thankful to God.

The biggest change in my 2015 life was my elder brother enlisting into the police force to serve his NS, early this year. With him seldom around, I had to learn to find my own way & develop my own spiritual convictions instead of always leaning on him for strength & going to him if I had a problem.

Ps remember the post I wrote last year about a time capsule we did at Youth Group? Well we dug it up last Saturday. It was a bittersweet moment, reflecting on the accomplishments & failures of the goals but more so because of the way I wrote the “note to your future self”.

It was bittersweet for me, reading this note; sweet, because i had discovered a deeper relationship with Christ. Bitter because of the wasted years and that I could have spared myself from so much heartaches if only I had made the right choices.

Through 2015, I know God has led me and I thank Him for giving me opportunities to grow & mature. One of the experiences was when I went for the RSC. I had a crazy time with the school & loved my schoolmates. Learned the meaning of true friendship, or rather what a true friend should be. Realized my dream of singing in a quartet & winning second place for that. Made a bunch of new friends.

That wasn’t the only happy time, there were other highs like, watching my younger sisters in Christ get baptized, seeing them grow, bonding with friends, playing with my twinz (they’re not literally mine but 💁 they are in a special way ✨), serving in church with faithful people.
And then, of course, there were lows. The tears, the hurts, the losses, the unfulfilled expectations, the many fears.
But through it all, no matter how weak I was or how I had forgotten God, He was always there.
Was struggling with abit of discouragement the past few months, but I know that whatever happens in my life, God knows why it does & He’s in control. Because I know He’s in control, I do not have to fret over it. He’ll work it out somehow.
In 2016, there’s gonna be more life changes & I’ll be busier coz I’m hoping to finish up my last year of school.

But I pray that while the going gets tough, I should always find my feet carrying me to the One who charted my course for guidance & strength.

Prone to wander, may I always bind myself with the cords of Love to the One who loved me & gave Himself for me;

Naturally prideful, may I choose to be broken bread & poured out wine;

Distracted easily, may my heart & mind be focused on being Christlike & having a heart of pure love towards God & men.

Emptied to be filled by God’s grace & peace, i pray that 2016 will find me depending more on His strength and wisdom.

Instead of relying on men for encouragement, may the only place I seek for refreshment & refuge be in the presence of the Saviour, and may the only refill I seek for a pure love for the brethren only be granted when I go to Love Himself.

And every virtue I possess is His alone.

“It is the saddest thing to see people in the service of God depending on that which the grace of God never have them, depending in what they have by the accident of heredity. God does not build up our natural virtues and transfigured them, because our natural virtues can never come anywhere near what Jesus Christ wants.”

– Oswald Chambers –

Looking back at the difference one year has made, I’m grateful for how God has led me through this year. Yes, I’ve come a long long painful way but it was a blessed way with Him.

“If through a broken heart, God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.”

– Oswald Chambers –

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