cursed blessing

I know the title I coined is paradoxical but I love the bitter sweet ring to it.

I have more in me than to stoop down to the same unkind level to hurl mud back to those who hurl mud at me.
I tell myself this all the time.

Respond with Honesty. Clear conscience. Love. Truth.

I’ve come to realize that with awareness of Christ’s presence in and with me, coupled with a clear clean conscience, I do not have to worry about what people may say. Yes, it’s easy to be bothered about all the nasty things going on and I am not totally unaffected by the unkind treatment to me or my family. I am aware that I have feelings of bitterness and resentment to those who have wronged me and my family. I want to insult those who have insulted me or my family, with the same mean language or tone or attitude. Misunderstood, mistreated, no one even tries to understand the pastor or his family. Pastor and family are always judged for everything and are required to understand others all the time *inserts bitter laugh*
Like the idiom that goes, it never rains but it pours, the discouraging comments and criticism and gossips seem like they will never end. It is difficult for me at times, but I am learning that if I treat them the way they treat us, it makes us no different from them. But with Christ in the vessel I can smile at the storm.

“Each new day’s design is chartered by His hand.” If all of my days has been planned by God, I am more than confident that He will carry me through. 

Call me pretentious, no guts, a wimp. It is of zero importance what you think or perceive of me (:
My position in Christ and my value to Him is far more precious and important to me than a thousand repulsive compositions painted about me.






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