they’ll break you 

I think pastors kids go through a lot of things they shouldn’t have to go through and have to grow up faster than everyone. 

I say that cus for pastor’s kids, no matter how many times you tell them to be themselves, there’s this invisible standard they’re held up to. They must never show inferior qualities, must be holy, must never have a bad mood, must be the role model that will never fail, can never fully voice out their frustrations and sadness, must live with all the wrongs done to them and their family, must keep quiet no matter how angry you are at some people.

I think I’ve lived this way for so long I’ve lost myself. I crave to never have to deal with suckers and all the crap they throw at us. I desperately want to be a normal Christian who can fail and gets help instead of getting judged. It’s like I’m drowning in the deepest ocean and there’s people around me and I’m watching them b r e a t h i n g. 

I think so many people forget that pastors kids are normal kids that have feelings like everyone else. 

It’s the pressure, I guess, of living up to a standard people hold up and they can be the meanest people on the planet. And I’m tired of this. Really tired.

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